Episode Two

EUREN in Black Box with Big TV. Campus Shots appear on TV

EUREN

There is a relationship between fear and pheromones. Too much fear and desire withers, like oranges in a blizzard. But a little fear, and desire flourishes. I can’t prove any of this, of course. I’m not a scientist. But it doesn’t mean it’s not true. It’s all in my book.

Campus Exteriors full screen. Students hustle to and fro.

TITLES

Co-Ed sits on the grass looking at her laptop screen. Tight shot on the laptop screen. She’s watching a EUREN VIDEO.

EUREN

I would like to say that the word can also be a visual medium. I’m working on a video project of my book where every word will be video taped individually and edited together so that you can actually read it on your television screen.

CUT TO:

EUREN in the BLACK BOX watching the girl watching him.

EUREN

Before the success of my book, I was a frail academic,disrespected and despised. I am still disrespected and despised, but now- I have money. And power. And knowledge.

CUT TO:

Now/Here PROMO ONE – Ocean Waves (10 seconds)

CUT TO:

TITLES CONTINUE

Euren unlocking his scooter from the bike rack - We hear Euren’s voice from the laptop continuing as we see MONTAGE of Euren scootering about campus, getting hit with a Frisbee. Intercut with college kids on campus.

Another student on his laptop watching a Euren video.

EUREN

The Hopis believe that if you give your name away you’re giving away yourself, which is why so many Hopis today don’t have names.

POV “binocular matte” on Euren as he continues scootering.

VOICE #1 (OC)

Who’s that?

VOICE #2 (OC)

Professor Euren. Comparative Lit. Doesn’t count.

VOICE #1 (OC)

Bet was 500 bucks to hit 3 professors in the Humanities within 24 hours … Comp Lit is part of Humanities.

VOICE #2 (OC)

Not the pink ribbed ones - just use the plain un-lubricated.

VOICE #1 (OC)

What do you care – the ribbed ones are for HER pleasure, not yours.

Close-up of Euren scootering followed by close up shot of hands pulling back a water filled condom which is about to be shot out of a huge makeshift surgical tubing sling shot.

VOICE #1 (OC)

FIRE !

The condom flies off into the sky and hits Euren squarely in the head. Water sprays everywhere.

Freeze frame on Euren.

GRAHIC POST IT: The first condom was invented in ancient Egypt. It was a linen sheath.

On EUREN, watching the above.

EUREN

Ha ha. Amusing. If one has a sense of humor. I was born without that commodity. Also, as a teacher, I possess a remarkable unwillingness to pay attention to my students. Not long ago, I decided to change that.

GRAPHIC: EARLIER