Episode Nine

FLASHBACK INDICATOR

PAINGIVER in Karate ghi and carrying really small suitcase is waving. He turns and walks away.

CUT TO:

DUSTEN & MARTY Z IN MARTY Z’S STUDIO

DUSTEN

You’re making a movie? With Urinnnnneee?

MARTY Z

“With.” That’s such a strong word. He’s a hard guy to get “with,” if you know what I mean. Plus he thinks he’s “with it,” and many might disagree.

DUSTEN

Okay, are you making a movie ABOUT Professor Euren?

MARTY Z

I thought “about” it.

DUSTEN

What the hell ARE you doing?

MARTT Z

I am making a movie, ah, “at” Professor Euren.

Marty Zgoes into an animated movie trailer pitch mode.

MARTY Z

“College Hit Man”, a cyborg killer is sent to campus by an evil corporation to kill undergraduates. Only one man, Kung Fu Professor Tex Euren, can stop him.

DUSTEN

Professor Euren? Kung Fu superstar?

Marty Z unrolls a poster with a picture of Chuck Norris.

MARTY Z

I’m going to get Chuck Norris to play the professor!

DUSTEN

You’re not going to get Chuck Norris to play anything.

MARTY Z

Yes I am. Ever hear of six degrees of separation? You know, it’s like you’re just six people away from knowing Kevin Bacon.

DUSTEN

That doesn’t mean you can call Kevin Bacon!

MARTY Z

Of course not. Kevin Bacon’s not right for this part.

He points to a picture on his“Chuck Norris Poster – the picture is of an 8 year-old kid in a karate uniform. It’s part of a “six degrees of separation” chart that leads to Chuck Norris that MARTY Zhas created.

MARTY Z

I know this kid, He’s in my karate class and his uncle’s sister is a housekeeper for Chuck Norris’s brother, Aaron Norris!

Loud karate chop sounds fill the sound track.

CUT TO:

MARTY’S KARATE CLASS. DUSTEN looks on as BILLY THE PITBULL and MARTY Z, both dressed in karate garb, face off in the center of the ring. They bow to each other and then suddenly Billy kicks Marty Z squarely in the balls. Marty drops to the ground writhing in agony.

BACK TO:

DUSTEN

So you have a lock on Chuck Norris?

MARTY Z

If we can’t get him, we’ll just make the hero invisible, and just say it’s Chuck Norris. Who’s gonna know?

DUSTEN

You know my brother’s friend is a cab driver in New York and he once gave JayZ a ride to Shea Stadium.

MARTY Z

What’s your point?

DUSTEN

Using your logic, you can definitely get Beyonce to be in your movie.

MARTY Z(deliberately, thinking out loud)

Chuck Norris and Beyonce in “College Hit Man” ……. WOW!

DUSTEN

Of course, they’ll both have to be invisible.

MARTY Z

Sure, sure. And we still might have a part for Professor Euren in here somewhere.

Pull out to Euren watching scene on BIG TV in BLACK BOX.

EUREN

And yes, here I am, playing my part. Now this.